Y'all Be Trippin'

Negro?  Negro?  Well, I guess “Colored” would be pushing it?

According to an article in the New York Daily News, the 2010 American Census will be adding “Negro” to the list of terms that Darkies, Coons, Spades, Gator Bait, Spear Chunkers, Mulatto, Children Of Cain, Democrats, VH1 Potential Reality Show Contestants, African-American and/or Blacks are referred to on the form.

In the process, gaining a whole lot of free publicity and the most definetly the first sightings of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton in 2010.  No truth to the rumor that if either one of the Darkies, Coons, Spades, Gator Bait, Spear Chunkers, Mulatto, Children Of Cain, Democrats, VH1 Potential Reality Show Contestants, African-American and/or Black Civil Rights Activists sees their shadow, that Flavor Flav fell down in front of them.

Census Bureau spokesman Jack Martin said the use of “Negro” was intended as a term of inclusion.

“Many older African-Americans identified themselves that way, and many still do,” he said. “Those who identify themselves as Negroes need to be included.”

Oh, that’s nice, WTG, Jack!  Let’s make older Darkies, Coons, Spades, Gator Bait, Spear Chunkers, Mulatto, Children Of Cain, Democrats, VH1 Potential Reality Show Contestants, African-American and/or Black folks feel included by bringing up an outdated Jim Crow era term.  Why not send them forms that smell like watermelon and when you open the form, it plays DIXIE, too, Jack?  Who thought this bulls*it was a good idea?

The form was also approved by Congress more than a year ago, and the word has appeared on past forms.

Jesus wept.

Memo to Jack and the morons in Congress:

When older Darkies, Coons, Spades, Gator Bait, Spear Chunkers, Mulatto, Children Of Cain, Democrats, VH1 Potential Reality Show Contestants, African-American and/or Black folks hear the term “Negro”, they don’t feel nostalgic or a warm, buttery feeling in their tummies.  What they hear is a polite version of  “Nigger”.  Not “N-word”, Jack, “Nigger”.

Scarlet O’Hara:  “Mammie, one day you Darkies, Coons, Spades, Gator Bait, Spear Chunkers, Mulatto, Children Of Cain, Democrats, VH1 Potential Reality Show Contestants, African-American and/or Black people will be proud of the term Negro, I knows you will!

Mammie:  “Bitch, I’m still waiting for a good chance to break your neck for naming me, Mammie”.

Why stop at Negro, Jack? Where’s “Nazi-American”, “Oriental”, “Indian”? Why not call every Latino person a “Mexican”, Jack? Let’s make everyone feel included?   Because it’s insulting and ignorant, that’s why.

While money is being wasted in Washington DC on stupid s*it, why not break off a few bucks, buy some pizza & beer and invite some of your “Negro” friends over and ask them what they think of the term, Jack?

I bet they’d come up with a few terms for you.

YBT SCORE: 10 out of 40 Acres & A Mule, Jack.

...beating a dead Tiger

Well isn’t this special…

We all knew that the obligatory Saturday Night Live spoof of Tiger “Whooped” Woods v. Elin “The Swede” Woods slobbernocker was a-comin’.  I know it’s a timing issue, seeing that half the frackin’ world (including YBT) has pimped this story like a single hooker at a frat house mixer, sure SNL had to get their shot in….BUT

Seeing as your musical guest was recently a victim of domestic violence and that this Tiger jibba-jabba is still strong discussion that’s headed into week dos, one would have thought that the kosher thing to do was to pump the brakes for a week.  Ha!  What am I thinkin’, nobody at SNL comes with brakes, silly!

...give peace a chance or I'll kick this girl's ass!

But, since this was a super celebrity getting his arse kicked AND it was a dude getting the smackdown layeth upon his arse, f*ck it, let them blows fall where they may!  Rhianna holding a press conference, continually being interrupted by Chris Brown kicking her ass, that’s dispicable, but Tiger Woods getting whooped up on by his wife, hardy har har, motherf*ckers!

Jesus wept.

Can’t wait for the LAW & ORDER SVU “ripped from the headlines” Tiger episode.

Maybe they will cast Chris Brown in the Tiger role.  Whoop dat trick!

YBT SCORE: 3 to 5 for assaulting your woman, 3 to 5 weeks being discussed on the cable newsworks, minimum if you’re a Swedish Nanny whooping your superstar golfer hubby’s ass.

I have no idea who has enough spare time in their lives to give a flying grape about what the girl on the raisin box looks like, but apparently there are some people that do. According to an article on yahoo today, there’s been some hubbub about the raisin girls hubcaps and her entire new videogame look:

Naturally, the revamped look hasn’t gone unnoticed, rankling both ends of the political spectrum. The blog for conservative magazine The Weekly Standard noted that the new Sun-Maid girl looks “as if Julia Roberts decided to don a red bonnet and start picking grapes,” while the feminist website Jezebel.com remarked that it looks as if she’s had “some implants.”

Now, I’ve seen the difference between the old version:

And the new version:

And I can say that while I might not have noticed while trying to open that tiny little pack of raisins so it doesn’t spill out all over the freaking table, there is SURELY a difference. However, while she might LOOK  a little promiscious, I have it on good authority that the new Sunmaid girl is nothing more than a tease… you know how girls from California are. Besides, I think it was time that the old Sunmaid girl got replaced, after all there must’ve been a TON of plastic surgeries… According to the company’s website, here she is looking busted in 1923:

Gross, and sort of saggy too. I guess if you leave them out in the sun that long, they really do start to look like, well, raisins.

Ok, seriously, calm down people..  it’s just a box of raisins. I can’t wait to see the fury that will be had if Captain Crunch goes through with that sex change operation he’s been hinting at for years.

If you’re worried way to much about the raisin girls breasticles, Y’all be nippin, err I mean, trippin’

 YBT SCORE: 8 out of 38DD.

According to some news report I read somewhere (doesn’t really matter where, does it?) ABC canceled more appearances of Adam Lambert after he made out with some dude on stage:

The repercussions for Adam Lambert’s controversial performance at the American Music Awards just keep on coming. The singer confirms that ABC has cancelled his two upcoming appearances on the network — “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” and “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.”

Lambert tweeted, “Yes, sadly friends, ABC has cancelled my appearances on Kimmel and NYE. don’t blame them. It’s the FCC heat.”

Really ABC? REALLY? The same Disney-owned-conglomerate of channels that features television shows about teenage sex (and teenage oral sex), and whose news channels are even obsessed with sex is now hating on Adam Lambert because he made out with a dude and simulated some oral on national TV:

I’m not even going to use the tired old “Madonna and Britney” argument, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take another look at it.. you know for posterities sake:

(You think Britney tastes like failure? I bet it tastes kinda hot…)

EDIT: Oh we can’t forget that Christina ALSO kissed Madonna. It’s like the Britney image only, with more talent!

(I just realized, Christina got Brit’s sloppy seconds. Damn!)

*AHEM* Anyway, the point is ABC you need to get OVER it already. I mean, the truth of the matter is that networks are run by aging white men who have no problem with watching Britney and Madonna make out, because it sexually attracts them, but cannot stand watching Adam and some random dude (how is he not on a reality show yet?) swap some spit.

NOW, don’t get me wrong, the entire Adam Lambert AMA performance was freaking ridiculous. It was nothing more than a publicity stunt, and a poorly placed one. You can’t go from runner up on American Idol to sex God overnight Adam, sorry.

But that doesn’t give ABC the right to punk out on his FUTURE stuff. He learned his lesson and it’s already cost him. I doubt he’ll be kissing many dudes in the near future… well on stage at least. Give the guy a break, he’s got the pipes, let the man sing.

So ABC, y’all be trippin.

YBT SCALE: 3 tongue kisses out of 10

Ok, so according to the CNN newstory, some people are up in arms over a picture of Michelle Obama that was apparently racist. Google didn’t make the picture, distribute the picture or even promote the picture, but it showed up if you Google Image searched the First Lady’s name. People were offended, obviously, considering the picture was a photograph with an ape’s face in the place of the lovely Michelle’s, but seriously, WTF do people think GOOGLE is gonna do about it?

Listen people, as much as you’d like to think so, Google isn’t reading your mind or picking things it WANTS you to see, it’s some computer magic that happens when you search that brings you the most popular links (or in this case images) when you press search. It’s not GOOGLES fault that some jackass lowlife inbred painted over Michelle Obama’s face with that of an ape anymore than it’s GOOGLES fault for any of the images that would come up if you searched for “obese porn” or whatever music that would come up if you searched for “Kenny G”. Brr… we shudder at the thought.

According to CNN, Google took down the offending website citing that it could cause “harm to your computer”, and the only way to find the image is to search directly for it, so it’s probably well hidden in the dark corners of the internet for now, but much like those pictures of you diving in the pool naked after a Superbowl bet gone bad, they’re bound to come back to haunt SOMETIME.

Furthermore, why does an ape on a black woman’s face automatically become RACIST? Michelle doesn’t look like an ape to me, and while I am sure the person who created the image had racist intentions, the fact that it automatically becomes racist is a bit ridiculous.

Aren’t their WHITE people who look like apes?

Oh, snap.

Geez, no one’s yelling at GOOGLE for that one. So, to all those punks blaming GOOGLE for someone elses racism? Y’all be trippin.

YBT SCALE: 5 bananas out of 10. Yea I said it, it’s an APE joke.

Don't cry baby, The People Of Wal-Mart will take good care of you...

The Dark Side Of Black Friday is revealed:

COMMERCE, Ga. – A Georgia couple got so carried away with snagging Black Friday deals that authorities said they left their kids alone in a shopping cart. Banks County Sheriff Charles Chapman told WSB radio that a 35-year-old man and and 31-year-old woman were charged with reckless conduct.

Chapman said the two left their 9-year-old and 9-month-old children in a shopping cart at the Banks Crossing Walmart so they could go shopping.

Chapman said he figured the couple thought the kids would slow them down. The children were not harmed.

Nice! You just have to love the People Of Wal-Mart, the domestic terrorists who constantly wage their Jihad against common sense and decency on a daily basis.

YPT SCORE: 10 out of 10 (marked down to $8.98)

Speaking of Ol’ Tiger, check out the REAL (no spoofing) cover of the upcoming Golf Digest issue, featuring “10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger”. Nice timing, again, golf magazines!

Mr. President, I know there are a few tips I wouldn’t take from Tiger. Especially considering that you’re married to a woman from the South Side of Chicago. You see all the damage The Swede did to Tiger, just imagine what Michelle would do to you, sir.

Please don't hit me anymore, boo...I'll be good!

Ever since Mrs. Woods proved once and for all that women can swing a golf club just as good as any dude and opened up a can of Swedish Whoop Ass on Tiger and his Caddy (Cabliasian? Yeah, right.   Everybody knows that only brothas roll in Cadillacs), white people been acting pretty cocky.

Ann Coulter's been preparing for this day a long time...

And banding together to do some major damage…

Dear God, no! Anything but this, Lord!

No wonder Kanye West hasn’t been seen in a while.  He knows that blonds run in packs and he’s gonna pay for messing with Taylor Swift.

Personally, I just hope that nobody gets Lisa Loeb pissed.  I am sure that behind that sexy librarian, emo-look, she’s a f*ckin’ killing machine, man.

Lisa Loeb scares YBT

Why can’t white people and black people just get along and buy furniture together?

Amen.

YPT SCORE: 6 out of 10 (1 point taken away for Ann Coulter actually knowing how to use a gun…come on, is that really a good idea for her to have a weapon? Really?)

Ugh.

You know what’s worse than bigotry? People using awesome fun technology to spread their bigotry message. Seriously, I don’t even want to POST this twitter account here, but I will relucntantly to show you what a douchebag this person really is:

http://twitter.com/meganphelps

Megan Phelps is but one of a small, but hopefully SHRINKING, number of supporters of the Westboro Baptist Church, yeah the same group who pickets against soldier’s funerals, and proudly proclaims (on their url no less) that God Hates Fags.

A horrible person spreading their disgusting message.

Anyway this bitch decides that spreading her word via Twitter would be a good thing, and the entire internet is a little more disgusting because of it. Some of her sample hate-filled tweets:

To avoid the same dumb ?s: God DOESN’T love everyone: He hates fags and fag enablers

Thank God for AIDS! You won’t repent of your rebellion that brought His wrath on you in this incurable scourge, so expect more & worse! #red

The fags you refer to are like the filthy ravens who fed Elijah (1 Ki. 17) – @ your nasty hand, God gives us tools to serve Him!

Of course, besides the hate, there’s also a few normal-yet-even-more-disturbing-because-of-the-normalcy tweets like:

What happens when awesome brothers buy u awesome tools? You label them! By tomorrow, everything I own will be covered in red, glittery tape!

This is the kind of stuff that makes the world a stupid place sometimes. People like Megan Phelps don’t understand anything about life, and then using GOD to cover up your hate? Well, that’s just plain old ridonkulous.

We’re proud to give our first Anti-Hater award to another twitter follower who has been engaged in an ongoing Tweet-War with @MeganPhelps. The award goes to @MichaelIanBlack, (yes, the actor and comedian) for fighting back against @MeganPhelps with some of his OWN harsh words. Our favorite of his tweets to this twat?

God titty fucks @meganphelps

OUCH!

So, Megan Phelps, her 900 followers, and the entire Westboro Baptist Church – Y’ALL BE SERIOUSLY TRIPPING.

YBT SCALE: 11teenbillion of out 10

So as I sit down to watch another episode of the always funny “Family Guy” on Fox, perhaps the most unwhite of the major networks, when I came across a few scenes involved a hispanic maid that had been on the show a few times in the past.

Conseulas as a witness.

Consuela, a maid that Lois hires to help clean up after the disgusting Peter, is shown to be a middle aged hispanic woman with a thick accent. As stereoptypical as that was, one can only roll their eyes at that unorginality.

BUT then things got funny, and well, sort of messed up at the same time.

So, yeah it’s funny when the maid puts Brian, the talking, drinking, family dog outside… but then Stewie accuses her of stealing money? Just when I was about to get mad, it turns out she did steal it, admitedly, and isn’t going to return it. Funny, but, still, a little messed up.

The entire episode was like that. JUST when you thought it was funny, it was a bit offensive, and then funny again. Damn you Steve Calligan for being too funny to be mad at.

Still, you’d think that the show that brought us a fighting chicken and Stewies pre-pre-pre-pubescent homosexuality could’ve been a little more original. So for that Family Guy, y’all be tripping… but only a little.

YPT SCORE: 2 out of 10