...beating a dead Tiger

Well isn’t this special…

We all knew that the obligatory Saturday Night Live spoof of Tiger “Whooped” Woods v. Elin “The Swede” Woods slobbernocker was a-comin’.  I know it’s a timing issue, seeing that half the frackin’ world (including YBT) has pimped this story like a single hooker at a frat house mixer, sure SNL had to get their shot in….BUT

Seeing as your musical guest was recently a victim of domestic violence and that this Tiger jibba-jabba is still strong discussion that’s headed into week dos, one would have thought that the kosher thing to do was to pump the brakes for a week.  Ha!  What am I thinkin’, nobody at SNL comes with brakes, silly!

...give peace a chance or I'll kick this girl's ass!

But, since this was a super celebrity getting his arse kicked AND it was a dude getting the smackdown layeth upon his arse, f*ck it, let them blows fall where they may!  Rhianna holding a press conference, continually being interrupted by Chris Brown kicking her ass, that’s dispicable, but Tiger Woods getting whooped up on by his wife, hardy har har, motherf*ckers!

Jesus wept.

Can’t wait for the LAW & ORDER SVU “ripped from the headlines” Tiger episode.

Maybe they will cast Chris Brown in the Tiger role.  Whoop dat trick!

YBT SCORE: 3 to 5 for assaulting your woman, 3 to 5 weeks being discussed on the cable newsworks, minimum if you’re a Swedish Nanny whooping your superstar golfer hubby’s ass.

According to some news report I read somewhere (doesn’t really matter where, does it?) ABC canceled more appearances of Adam Lambert after he made out with some dude on stage:

The repercussions for Adam Lambert’s controversial performance at the American Music Awards just keep on coming. The singer confirms that ABC has cancelled his two upcoming appearances on the network — “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” and “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.”

Lambert tweeted, “Yes, sadly friends, ABC has cancelled my appearances on Kimmel and NYE. don’t blame them. It’s the FCC heat.”

Really ABC? REALLY? The same Disney-owned-conglomerate of channels that features television shows about teenage sex (and teenage oral sex), and whose news channels are even obsessed with sex is now hating on Adam Lambert because he made out with a dude and simulated some oral on national TV:

I’m not even going to use the tired old “Madonna and Britney” argument, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take another look at it.. you know for posterities sake:

(You think Britney tastes like failure? I bet it tastes kinda hot…)

EDIT: Oh we can’t forget that Christina ALSO kissed Madonna. It’s like the Britney image only, with more talent!

(I just realized, Christina got Brit’s sloppy seconds. Damn!)

*AHEM* Anyway, the point is ABC you need to get OVER it already. I mean, the truth of the matter is that networks are run by aging white men who have no problem with watching Britney and Madonna make out, because it sexually attracts them, but cannot stand watching Adam and some random dude (how is he not on a reality show yet?) swap some spit.

NOW, don’t get me wrong, the entire Adam Lambert AMA performance was freaking ridiculous. It was nothing more than a publicity stunt, and a poorly placed one. You can’t go from runner up on American Idol to sex God overnight Adam, sorry.

But that doesn’t give ABC the right to punk out on his FUTURE stuff. He learned his lesson and it’s already cost him. I doubt he’ll be kissing many dudes in the near future… well on stage at least. Give the guy a break, he’s got the pipes, let the man sing.

So ABC, y’all be trippin.

YBT SCALE: 3 tongue kisses out of 10

So as I sit down to watch another episode of the always funny “Family Guy” on Fox, perhaps the most unwhite of the major networks, when I came across a few scenes involved a hispanic maid that had been on the show a few times in the past.

Conseulas as a witness.

Consuela, a maid that Lois hires to help clean up after the disgusting Peter, is shown to be a middle aged hispanic woman with a thick accent. As stereoptypical as that was, one can only roll their eyes at that unorginality.

BUT then things got funny, and well, sort of messed up at the same time.

So, yeah it’s funny when the maid puts Brian, the talking, drinking, family dog outside… but then Stewie accuses her of stealing money? Just when I was about to get mad, it turns out she did steal it, admitedly, and isn’t going to return it. Funny, but, still, a little messed up.

The entire episode was like that. JUST when you thought it was funny, it was a bit offensive, and then funny again. Damn you Steve Calligan for being too funny to be mad at.

Still, you’d think that the show that brought us a fighting chicken and Stewies pre-pre-pre-pubescent homosexuality could’ve been a little more original. So for that Family Guy, y’all be tripping… but only a little.

YPT SCORE: 2 out of 10