...beating a dead Tiger
Well isn’t this special…
We all knew that the obligatory Saturday Night Live spoof of Tiger “Whooped” Woods v. Elin “The Swede” Woods slobbernocker was a-comin’. I know it’s a timing issue, seeing that half the frackin’ world (including YBT) has pimped this story like a single hooker at a frat house mixer, sure SNL had to get their shot in….BUT
Seeing as your musical guest was recently a victim of domestic violence and that this Tiger jibba-jabba is still strong discussion that’s headed into week dos, one would have thought that the kosher thing to do was to pump the brakes for a week. Ha! What am I thinkin’, nobody at SNL comes with brakes, silly!
...give peace a chance or I'll kick this girl's ass!
But, since this was a super celebrity getting his arse kicked AND it was a dude getting the smackdown layeth upon his arse, f*ck it, let them blows fall where they may! Rhianna holding a press conference, continually being interrupted by Chris Brown kicking her ass, that’s dispicable, but Tiger Woods getting whooped up on by his wife, hardy har har, motherf*ckers!
Jesus wept.
Can’t wait for the LAW & ORDER SVU “ripped from the headlines” Tiger episode.
Maybe they will cast Chris Brown in the Tiger role. Whoop dat trick!
YBT SCORE: 3 to 5 for assaulting your woman, 3 to 5 weeks being discussed on the cable newsworks, minimum if you’re a Swedish Nanny whooping your superstar golfer hubby’s ass.
I have no idea who has enough spare time in their lives to give a flying grape about what the girl on the raisin box looks like, but apparently there are some people that do. According to an article on yahoo today, there’s been some hubbub about the raisin girls hubcaps and her entire new videogame look:
Naturally, the revamped look hasn’t gone unnoticed, rankling both ends of the political spectrum. The blog for conservative magazine The Weekly Standard noted that the new Sun-Maid girl looks “as if Julia Roberts decided to don a red bonnet and start picking grapes,” while the feminist website Jezebel.com remarked that it looks as if she’s had “some implants.”
Now, I’ve seen the difference between the old version:
(Wholesomely delicious!)And the new version:
(Is she smuggling some grapes, or is it just cold?)And I can say that while I might not have noticed while trying to open that tiny little pack of raisins so it doesn’t spill out all over the freaking table, there is SURELY a difference. However, while she might LOOK a little promiscious, I have it on good authority that the new Sunmaid girl is nothing more than a tease… you know how girls from California are. Besides, I think it was time that the old Sunmaid girl got replaced, after all there must’ve been a TON of plastic surgeries… According to the company’s website, here she is looking busted in 1923:
(Are raisins more addicting than heroin?)Gross, and sort of saggy too. I guess if you leave them out in the sun that long, they really do start to look like, well, raisins.
Ok, seriously, calm down people.. it’s just a box of raisins. I can’t wait to see the fury that will be had if Captain Crunch goes through with that sex change operation he’s been hinting at for years.
If you’re worried way to much about the raisin girls breasticles, Y’all be nippin, err I mean, trippin’
YBT SCORE: 8 out of 38DD.